Husband: Happy Anniversary!
Wife: Oh, thank you. These are beautiful. You shouldn’t have . . . especially since our anniversary was last week.
Husband: What? Oh, I completely forgot . . .
Wife: Again?
Husband: No Way. I can’t believe it.
Wife: Neither can I, but you did.
Husband: Ah, how can I make it up to you . . . again? Anything!
Wife: Okay, let’s negotiate here. [Negotiate?] First of all, I want to go on that dream vacation you’ve always promised me.
Husband: You mean, to Chicago?
Wife: No! To Europe. I want to fly first class and stay at 5-star hotels. And no more places with broken heaters, leaking showers, and dirty bedding.
Husband: Ah, were those places that bad?
Wife: Well, SOMETHING a little nicer, at least once in a blue moon, would be nice. [Well . . . ] And, oh yeah. Next, I want to get a new kitchen stove. The old one took its last breath weeks ago.
Husband: But we . . .
Wife: No, we’re NOT going to use the outdoor barbecue anymore. It isn’t any fun at all cooking outside in the winter, with icicles hanging from your nose.
Husband: That bad?
Wife: Not for YOU since you’re always watching from inside.
Husband: Oh, well.
Wife: And finally, I want a new wardrobe: some new dresses, shirts, pants, earrings . . .
Husband: Ah, but . . .
Wife: And, NO, I’m not going to wear your grandmother’s old secondhand pants again.
Husband: Is that it?
Wife: Uh, hmm, for now. So, why don’t we grab a bite to eat before we start planning the entire adventure.
Husband: But lunch wasn’t on the list.
Wife: Let’s see. Paris, Rome, London, oh, then a short detour to Russia, China, [A what?!] and, ooh, and Hawaii on the way home.
Husband: Wow. I’d better ask the boss for a huge raise.