Interviews

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Discussion Questions:

• Introvert vs. Extrovert: Ask students to discuss in pairs or small groups the differences between introverts and extroverts. Have them share experiences when they felt like declining an invitation due to their personality.
• Common Invitations: Have students brainstorm a list of common invitations they receive, such as parties, weddings, or family gatherings. Ask them to think of reasons why someone might decline these invitations.

Prediction Activity:

• What Would You Say? Present students with the scenarios from the interview (e.g., being invited to a company barbecue, a wedding, or a family outing) and ask them to predict how they think the speakers will decline these invitations. After listening, they can compare their predictions with the actual responses.

Here are some words and expressions that appear in the video:

• decline (verb): politely refuse or say no to something

– She decided to decline the invitation to the party.
– He politely declined the offer for dessert.

• invitation (noun): a request to attend an event or join an activity

– I received an invitation to my friend’s wedding.
– The invitation to the picnic arrived yesterday.

• introvert (noun): a person who prefers spending time alone or in small groups

– As an introvert, she enjoys reading more than attending parties.
– Being an introvert, he often spends his weekends at home.

• polite (adjective): showing good manners and respect to others

– She gave a polite smile when she was introduced to the new coworker.
– It’s important to be polite when meeting someone for the first time.

• frequently (adverb): happening often or regularly

– He frequently visits his grandparents on the weekends.
– She frequently checks her email throughout the day.

Now, watch the interview and answer the comprehension questions. You can also turn on the automatically-generated captions for the video once you start it.

Randall: Aubrey. Have you ever been in a situation where you’ve received an invitation but you just really didn’t want to go?

Aubrey: As an introvert, frequently. All right.

Randall: Well, let me give you some examples. And what are some ways to decline these invitations? The first one is you’ve been invited to a company barbecue and you don’t really want to go. And we realize there could be a myriad of reasons, I mean, really valid reasons why people wouldn’t want to go. But let’s look at these situations. What would you say? What would you do? Uh, number one company barbecue.

Aubrey: Yeah, I hate company parties that are after work. Like, “I already spent eight hours with you. I don’t want to spend another few hours with you. I’m not getting paid.”

Randall: So what would you say?

Aubrey: I usually just say, you know, “I’m not going to be able to make it,” or “I have other plans” or “I don’t want to go.”

Randall: Maybe, like you said, I don’t want to go, uh, for whatever I. You know, I’ve spent eight hours with you. I’m really tired. I just want to go home and relax. Could be a very valid reason.

Aubrey: That’s what I usually do for company parties.

Randall: Here’s the next one. And for some reason, you receive a wedding invitation from an old flame. What would you do in that particular case?

Aubrey: Am I still like, do I still talk to this person?

Randall: No, no, you have no contact. And for some reason, this person sent you an invitation.

Aubrey: Did they send me a physical invitation, or is this an Evite?

Randall: Uh, physical invitation?

Aubrey: Yeah, it’s just going in the trash. They’re not getting a response at all.

Randall: Okay. No response. Nope. All right, another example is a family outing. Let’s just say a picnic.

Aubrey: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I live 2.5 hours away, I can’t come. Oh, darn.”

Randall: I know you live another several hours away, so I guess that would be one way of doing it. And what about a campout? You have some friends getting together. They want to go for a campout up in the mountains for a night. Um, in the snow.

Aubrey: “Gross.” That’s probably what my response would be. “Gross. You guys have fun.”

Well, let’s not talk about that. Let’s just say it’s in the summer. It’s a campout with some close friends. Would you go?

Aubrey: No.

Randall: Okay. And how would you decline that invitation?

Aubrey: If they’re close, close friends, then they know I have anxiety, and I’ll be like, yeah, I can’t be outside for that long. No thank you.

Randall: And I’m assuming these close friends already know it, and probably if they’re close friends would extend the invitation to you realizing that you might not go, but they know that you’re aware they’re going, and maybe they do it just out of friendship. Just want to see. Maybe you can’t go the entire time, but maybe you’ll stop in. Maybe come for a few hours for a, you know, a cookout or something like that.

Aubrey: Yeah. And I want to say, as an introvert, I appreciate being invited to things, even though I’m going to almost always say no. Okay, I appreciate being invited because, hey, maybe I’m having a good day, and I’ll come for like an hour or two, and with the expectation that I’m probably going to leave early.

Randall: Well, thank you for sharing some of your thoughts on declining invitations.

Intermediate:

1. What type of event does Aubrey dislike attending after work?
2. How does Aubrey typically decline an invitation to a company barbecue?
3. What reason does Aubrey give for not attending a campout with friends?
4. How does Aubrey feel about receiving wedding invitations from previous partners?
5. Why does Aubrey appreciate being invited to events even though she often says no?
6. How does Aubrey’s anxiety affect her decision to attend social gatherings?
7. What might be the impact on Aubrey’s relationships if she declines too many invitations?
8. How does Aubrey balance honesty and politeness when declining invitations?

Advanced:

1. Do you think Aubrey’s friends should continue inviting her to events despite knowing she might not attend? Why or why not?
2. In what ways could Aubrey’s approach to declining invitations be seen as assertive or passive?
3. How would you compare Aubrey’s method of declining invitations to your own?
4. What are the potential social consequences of frequently declining invitations, and how might they be managed?

Follow these directions.

Get Ready:

• Make two sets of cards: one with invitations and one with responses.
• Put the cards in separate containers.

Form Teams:

• Split into teams.

Pick a Card:

• A player from the first team picks an invitation card and reads it aloud.

Match It:

• The team picks the best decline card to go with the invitation.

Score Points:

• Earn 1 point for a good match. Get an extra point if it’s funny!

Take Turns:

• Keep going until all cards are matched.

Win the Game:

• The team with the most points wins!

——

Situations

1. Weekend Movie Night:
   Invitation: A friend invites you to watch a horror movie on Saturday night.

2. Wedding of a Distant Relative:
   Invitation: You receive an invitation to your distant cousin’s wedding, whom you haven’t seen in over a decade.

3. Colleague’s Birthday Party:
   Invitation: A colleague invites you to their birthday party on Friday night after work.

4. Neighborhood Picnic:
   Invitation: Your neighbors invite you to a community picnic in the park on Sunday afternoon.

5. Last-Minute Road Trip:
   Invitation: A group of friends invites you to join them for a spontaneous road trip this weekend.

6. Early Morning Workout:
   Invitation: A friend suggests meeting at 6 AM for a sunrise yoga session on the beach.

7. Family Reunion:
   Invitation: Your extended family invites you to a reunion at a relative’s house next month.

8. Volunteer Event:
   Invitation: A co-worker asks if you’d like to join them for a weekend volunteering at the local animal shelter.

9. Holiday Dinner Party:
   Invitation: A friend invites you to their annual holiday dinner party with a large group of guests.

10. Weekend Camping Trip:
    Invitation: A group of friends invites you on a weekend camping trip to the mountains.

—–

Responses

Use these statements to decline invitations.

• Weekend Movie Night:
  “Thanks for the invite, but I’m not really into that movie. How about we catch up another time instead?”

• Wedding of a Distant Relative:
  “I appreciate the invitation, but unfortunately, I won’t be able to attend. Please send my best wishes to the happy couple.”

• Colleague’s Birthday Party:
  “Happy Birthday in advance! I’ve got some plans to unwind this weekend, but I hope you have an amazing time.”

• Neighborhood Picnic:
  “Thank you for organizing the picnic! I’ll have to pass this time, but I hope it’s a great day for everyone.”

• Last-Minute Road Trip:
  “That sounds like a blast, but I’ve already got plans I can’t change. Maybe next time!”

• Early Morning Workout:
  “I love the idea, but I’m not much of a morning person. Let’s plan something later in the day!”

• Family Reunion:
  “Thank you for the invite, but I won’t be able to make it this time. I hope everyone has a wonderful time catching up.”

• Volunteer Event:
  “That’s a great cause, but I’ve already planned some personal time this weekend. Maybe I can join in on the next one?”

• Holiday Dinner Party:
  “Thanks so much for inviting me, but I’m not too comfortable with large groups right now. Let’s catch up one-on-one soon!”

• Weekend Camping Trip:
  “Camping sounds fun, but I’m more of an indoor person. I hope you all have a great time out there!”