Daughter: Uh, Dad. Are you going to miss me when I leave for college next week?
Daughter: No, Dad . . . seriously. I mean you're always talking about how much money you'll save on food, hot water, and gas while I am gone.
Father: Of course I will . . . no, uh, well, I'll mean miss you, of course. No, honestly, I'll miss and worry about you, and you've really tried to prepare yourself. You know, I'm proud of you for that. You know, getting a university degree is a real accomplishment.
Father: But, let's go over the to-do list. Do you have everything ready? I mean, did you pay your tuition and housing fees by the deadline? [Yeap.] Because, you know, if you don't, you'll lose your class schedule, and you have to register all over again.
Daughter: Yeah, I paid for that a few days ago.
Father: Okay, did you sign up for the meal plan at the university so you don't have to eat instant noodles everyday?
Daughter: Yeap. But Mom said I could take some food from home to get me started.
Father: Uhhh, well, yeah. The oatmeal is in the pantry.
Daughter: Dad! Mom said I could take a bag of rice, some canned food, and . . .
Father: . . . and grandpa's old army rations.
Daughter: Ugh! Not that old stuff. Mom!
Father: Okay, okay. And you know you should set up an appointment to meet with your academic advisor to help you select future classes, right? [Yeah.] You know, business administration will be a great major for you.
Daughter: Well, Dad, uh . . .
Father: And future possibilities . . . a great salary, opportunities to make a difference in the community, and supporting . . .
Daughter: Dad. I changed my major.
Father: What? You changed you major . . . you switched majors!?
Daughter: Yeah. I really thought about it. After talking it over with Mom, I've decided to major in wildlife science.
Father: What? What are you talking about?
Daughter: Yeah. I want to degree in wildlife science. You know, analyzing, maintaining, and conserving national forests and wildlife.
Father: What? Uh, uhh . . .
Daughter: Dad. You can close your mouth now. I mean, I've ALWAYS been interested in working with nature; [Well.] You know that, and this field will give me the opportunity to live out my dream. [Well . . . ] I've also looked through the online university catalog, and I actually qualify for a two-year, full tuition scholarship.
Father: Wait. When did this all happen?
Daughter: I can even go on to graduate school and further my education . . . after Todd and I get married, of course.
Father: Graduate school . . . Todd? Wait, wait, wait!! Who's Todd? Ah, what's next?
Daughter: Thanks for the credit card. Mom said it was a present. And I just tried it out to make sure it worked, and I had no problem buying my new laptop computer. [Oh, I'm doomed!] Uh, Dad, where are you going?
Father: Uh, I've decided to enroll in night school to get another degree. That's the only way I'm going to to pay for your college.