Man: Hey. Hey. Hey, hey, hey!! What are you doing?
Police Officer: Uh, what does it look like I'm doing? I'm having your car towed away for parking illegally.
Man: Officer. You can't do that. That's not fair.
Police Officer: What do you mean it's not fair? You parked your car in a no-parking area.
Man: What? What do you mean?
Police Officer: Look, sir. There's a sign right there that says [Where? Where?] . . . right there! It says, "Tow away zone. No parking between the hours of 7 a.m. through 6 p.m."
Man: Oh, that one? Those tree branches are covering it.
Police Officer: Sorry, you're going to have to take that complaint up with the city. I'm just doing my job. I'm just here to uphold the law. Anyway, you can clearly see it once you get out of your car.
Man: But, but . . . my car was only here (for) five minutes. [Sorry.] I had to just run into this building to . . . to drop off some clothing at the homeless shelter. Just trying to help people in need.
Police Officer: Sir. The homeless shelter? It's six blocks down the road. Anyway, look, here's your ticket, and the address where you can pick up your car is found on the back.
Man: What? A hundred and fifty dollars? That's outrageous. I mean, completely ludicrous.
Police Officer: Sorry. Don't park your car illegally!
Man: So, you mean that you're going to have my car towed away. I'm standing right here. Look. How about two tickets for a lecture on the history of the English language tomorrow night at the library? Anything.
Police Officer: Sir. It's illegal to bribe an officer.
Man: Wait, wait wait, or how 'bout some coupons for a free burger at that restaurant across the street.? [You've got to be kidding me.] Buy one and get the second one half price.
Police Officer: You know sir, you'd probably better leave now. Have a good day.