Man: Hey. Can you give me a hand with the groceries? And I told you I could do the shopping.
Woman: Wow! Do we really need all this stuff? Let me see that receipt.
Man: Hey, I only bought the essentials.
Woman: Okay. Let's see. Dog food. Twenty-four dollars and seventy cents ($24.70)? We don't even have a dog!
Man: Well, it WAS going to be a surprise, but look in the back of the truck.
Man: Ah, ha, hah. Speechless. I knew you'd love him.
Woman: That thing? That dog's as big as a horse. He probably eats like one, too.
Man: Ah, but he's sure friendly. And someone was giving him away at the supermarket, and I . . . I . . . I couldn't let that poor thing pass another day without a loving home.
Woman: Whatever. Where was I? Eighteen dollars and nineteen cents ($18.19) for twenty-four cans of tomato juice? You don't even like that stuff!
Man: Ahhhh. Not yet. I've decided to change my eating habits.
Man: You'll see, you'll see.
Woman: Okay. Let's see. Three eighty-four ($3.84) for a box of chocolate cookies and twelve fifty-six ($12.56) for a case of soft drinks. [Yeah!] Changing your eating habits, huh? Do you really think that cookies are some type of diet food?
Man: Hey, I'll just eat a cookie or two every other hour. In fact, they're a great source of carbohydrates for energy. And, you see, the tomato juice and cookies kind of, you know, cancel each other out.
Woman: Oh brother. I can't believe what I'm hearing. Let's see. Where was I? A carton of eggs, two fifty ($2.50) for a gallon of milk, three cans of tuna. Okay. [Yeah.] And finally two steaks for eight fourteen ($8.14) . Now, something worth enjoying. I'll get the grill started.
Man: Oh, we . . . w . . . well. The steaks are for Herbert.
Woman: Herbert. Who's Herbert?
Man: Uh, he's the dog. [No!] You see, the previous owner said that he's kind of . . . he's somewhat picky about what he eats, [No!], and the steaks might help him adjust [Absolutely not!] . . . . no, no, no, and the steaks might help him adjust to his new home. Hey, what are you doing? Oh, no. Why did you throw the steaks out on the ground outside?
Woman: Well, now, you and Herbert can get to know each other better. I'm going out to eat by myself.